by DJ Victory
I was scrolling through Instagram and Facebook the other day and had a realization. I hate social media. I mean I love social media...no wait, I hate social media. Ugggghhhhh!
Trolling through all of the photos in my feed I came to the conclusion that I am not nearly as talented or successful of a person as the other stylists I follow. I mean, I don't have the clientele that allows me to do their hair multiple shades of pink and purple. I don't live in a major city that give me access to the rich and famous. I don't have clients flying into Cleveland for me to work my magic. Photos and videos of my work aren't going "viral". I don't have 300,000 followers on Instagram. I can still accept friend requests on Facebook. I have appointments available throughout the rest of the year. Are you picking up what I'm putting down?
DISCLAIMER~I want to make something crystal clear before I go ahead with my rant. I'm truly happy for any stylist/person that is able to do or have any of the above. Honestly...I love seeing people happy and successful. Whatever your definitions of happy and success are, we all deserve that in our lives no matter what we do for a living. With that being said, I'm human and unfortunately I can't help but to compare myself, my work and my life to the astounding photos I see daily on social media. Here we go...
I just so happened to be having a slow day at the salon the other day and all of these negative thoughts overcame me at once. First thought was that if I were truly any good I would be booked solid for months and months out, not gazing out of the front window at the sideshow the DMV next to us seems to reel in. I have been a hairstylist for 13 years; there is no reason that I shouldn't be booked solid for the next year...right? I'm falling down the rabbit hole of comparison. The mindless wonder of measuring my self worth with people who I see on Instagram and Facebook that have been doing hair for only a few years and are posting that they have no color appointments available for the rest of the year!
I f@#*!*# wish!
I Eeyore'd my way up to my baby bird Jamie who was smiling because she just completed another level of Candy Crush and asked her, "Am I any good?" she kind of laughed and said, "What do you mean?" I said, "Am I any good at what I do?" She looked at me extremely puzzled, shook her head and said "Of course you are. Do you not see how happy your clients are to see you? Do you not see how thrilled they are with their hair when your done? Do you not see all of the work that you've had published? Do you not see how many people who tell you that YOU inspire them???" With a look of disbelief on my face I looked around and said, "I guess…". Jamie asked me what was wrong as I sat on the mini garbage can next to her chair at the front desk. I started to vomit out all of these reasons why I must not be any good. See second paragraph above. As I'm spewing this nonsense out into the universe, I realize how easy it is to fall into the social media trap of comparison. I'm comparing my work, my talent, my ability and my life with other people's photos. Just as I've talked about in my other posts about perception and reality. I'm guilty! I'm guessing, thinking, and perceiving that these stylists must have THE most amazing careers and lives because at the end of the day if a person has more "likes", "followers" and "shares" than you do, it obviously means that they are more intelligent, more successful and more talented. It's a trap. It's the social media trap that sucks you in and, if only for a brief moment, leads you to self-doubt. Ok, I guess I can't speak for you....social media...I hate you, but I love you.
It's actually taken me a few weeks to even write this because I figured that I better believe my own bullshit before I put it out there.
This is the conclusion that I've come to. We are all just trying our best. We all have different talents. No one is "better" than anyone. So what if you're not Instagram famous. That doesn't mean that the talent isn't there. Is it really that impressive that you can't accept one more friend request on Facebook because you have maxed out on the number of friends Facebook allows you to have??? Just because your stellar work isn't getting published doesn't mean that it isn't magazine-worthy. Like I said, I really can't speak for you, but I am going to desperately try to remember these words when I feel like I am about to stumble.
Let's wrap this up. I'm getting tired and I want to eat a bowl of cereal.
Don't let social media suck you in to the comparison trap. Don't ever allow it to make you feel like you are anything less than...well...spectacular.
Believe in yourself, don't compare yourself!